


Theatricality

by AdriaTyler (LyzDrake)



Category: Glee
Genre: Episode: s01e20 Theatricality, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 21:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8302372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyzDrake/pseuds/AdriaTyler
Summary: Another take on an episode that shows a lot about Kurt Hummel's character.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Italics are straight from the episode.

When he looked at Finn, he saw a hero. Someone who wouldn’t let others hurt him for being different ... gay. He called it love, because he didn’t have another name for it. How _do_ you describe that feeling in your chest that flutters with warmth because he’s there, and not throwing you in the dumpster or throwing slushies in his face. Yes, Finn was cute, and his voice was nice, but Kurt never loved him romantically. It’s just that Finn was the only one to _see_ him sometimes. He didn’t see fancy clothes, or the strange kid who deserved to be locker checked. He saw Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, sometimes diva, all the time friend. 

No, Finn wasn’t perfect. He didn’t really try to include Kurt all the time, and he didn’t understand the clothes or the hair. But compared to everyone else,  Finn was pretty good. Kurt liked how he felt about himself around Finn ... And his mom had been just as nice, if not nicer, and she was kinda like his mom, so he introduced their parents. “I honestly love you.” Kurt told Finn when they were doing ballads. It hadn’t registered properly in Finn’s mind back then, but now all Finn saw was a pervert, a freak who liked to sneak a look at people’s junk. Not someone who truly loved Finn for who he was. Not a lust, or a romantic love, but a pure love that only wants the best for the other.

Kurt had ignored it. Yes, he’s been jealous of how well Finn got along with his father, but in the way the oldest sibling resented the younger one for being the new “favorite.” He’d done some dumb things, trying to regain his father’s full attention. But now ... now Kurt Hummel was done with Finn Hudson. He’d backed off, tried to remodel his room to ensure both their comfort, tried not to make Finn uncomfortable around him, or remind him of his ‘gayness’. _“I had to skip school to finish it, but I think you're really going to like it.”_ He started, describing where he’d gotten his inspiration from, trying to bring more ‘masculine’ themes, as if he himself wasn’t a male. Of course he was ... just not a stereotypical one.

He tried not to cry when Finn asked him if he was insane. He’d tried hard to make this somewhere Finn would be comfortable too, since he obviously wasn’t comfortable with the original way Kurt’s room looked. _“I’m a dude.”_

Perhaps those were the most hurtful words Finn had ever said. Like because Kurt was gay he wasn’t a guy, wasn’t truly male. 

_“I don't want to get dressed in front of you! Do you know that I put my underwear on in the shower before I come out when you're around? I just... I don't want to have to worry about that kind of stuff in my own room, man.”_

No. These words were the most hurtful. Kurt had never peeked. Even when the guys in the locker room pulled stupid stuff, compared sizes, slapped each other’s rears, he’d kept his eyes and hands to himself. Now he was practically being called a voyeur. 

“Finn...” He said sadly. He wasn’t going to yell. He was too hurt to be angry. No longer was this boy in front of him anything he wanted to be a part of. Finn Hudson was no longer his hero, the one kind guy who didn’t care about his sexuality. It was clear Finn was perhaps even more homophobic than some of his other tormentors. 

_“No, Kurt! Don't play dumb. Why can't you just accept that I'm not like you?”_ Finn yelled angrily. 

Kurt turned and tried to walk out the door. _“You think I don't see the way you stare at me? How flirty you get. You think I don't know why you got so excited that we were going to be moving in together?”_ Finn yelled at him, determined to get through to him.

Kurt stiffened, then turned from where he stood in the doorway. Finn had gotten through to Kurt all right, but he was mistaken if he thought Kurt was going to take that kind of abuse undefended. 

“I understand that you’re not like me, Finn Hudson. I’m the only gay kid at school. That’s fine.” Kurt spat out, his loneliness evident in his bitter tone. “And it’s true. Sometimes I do look at you with admiration in the halls. You’re confident. _Popular_. Everyone watches you, because you demand attention from them. You have never been, and never will be, invisible. You will always be seen, and rarely will you be pushed around. You might snide comments, but the worst you’ll get is a slushy. Those aren’t too bad compared to what I get.”

 Finn looked uncomfortable at the change in topic. 

“And maybe I do come off as flirty. I wouldn’t know. You’ve never said anything. You’ve never implied that you were uncomfortable until now. I’ve tried so hard to get you to like me.” Now Finn looked vindicated. It was true. The sneaky gay was out to get him! “I thought, ‘If Finn Hudson, that really nice quarterback, the only guy, much less football player, who doesn’t seem to care that I’m gay, likes me, maybe no one else will try to hurt me.’”  

Finn’s smug grin fell off his face. 

“You don’t seem to realize it, but you weren’t as bad as everyone else, Finn. We all like you. Every underdog at McKinley High dreams that one day Finn Hudson, the goofy nice guy, will smile our direction ... because if he doesn’t ... if you don’t notice us ... no one else will. And yeah ... I was excited you were moving in with us. You may not realize it Finn, but I really miss my mother. You never had the chance to know your dad. It wasn’t as bad for you. I knew my mother. 

She was the only thing that helped when I came home drenched in piss from the balloons thrown at me that were filled with your urine, and the urine of every other sports player in this homophobic town. I was eleven years old, and I didn’t even understand what gay meant. Even when she had cancer, and it hurt just to breathe, after I showered my mom would wrap me in her arms, put in old musicales, and just hold me.” 

Finn’s face took on a shamed look at the mention of his own bullying, and saddened when he understood how much Kurt had lost. 

“Your mom is great. She likes to shop, and doesn’t mind that I’m ‘weird.’ You guys moving in means I actually get a family again. I never got the chance to be a sibling to anyone else. I always wanted a younger brother. And Finn, you’re younger than me by a good half a year ... Now I’m gonna go stay with Mercedes tonight. Maybe you should spend some time thinking alone.” With that parting shot, Kurt grabbed the always ready sleepover bag waiting by the door of his ... _their_... room, and walked out, leaving Finn to a Moroccan room that felt more and more lonely as Kurt’s footsteps faded away.


End file.
